We are in full swing with our school schedule around here. The days start very early, and are so busy with making meals, driving, homeschool, activities, church, laundry, homework, cleaning, and then collapsing into bed at night, only to do the same thing all over again the next day. It is easy to get caught up in the monotony of everything, like a sequel of “Groundhog Day” with a multitude of repetitive actions. I woke up this morning, with a newfound determination to start this MONDAY with a cheerful attitude, and a desire to accomplish a few things before my little one woke up to start homeschool. Busily hurrying along, I found a Lego man at the bottom of my washing machine, and I have to admit, I had a moment of nostalgia. The thought of, “One day I’m going to miss finding Legos in my washing machine!” ran through my mind. In the midst of the chaos, I had to take a moment to treasure what’s happening around me in my little world.
My children are growing up. It happened so quickly. It seems only days ago when I was lugging a toddler on my hip, complaining about my nemesis “Potty Training”, watching the same Disney movie on repeat all day long, and wishing for a little peace and quiet to myself. Then overnight, my toddler turned into this man-child. These days there’s another man roaming around my house. It’s my 12 year old, who is almost as tall as me. I’ll see him walk across the hall, and have to take a second look. Who is this man in my house? I am loving the pre-teen years. He is so much fun to talk to, he’s growing into the person that he’s going to be, with his own convictions and opinions. All of the hard work in the early years, is paying off. He is polite, and kind, and friendly, and smart. Somedays I honestly feel like we don’t deserve such an awesome kid. I might be a little bias, but he really is amazing. He likes to tell me that he only has 6 more years until he’s 18, and an adult. That pretty much makes my heart stops beating every time. We are going through the process of releasing a tiny bit, around here. Little tastes of responsibility and opportunities for freedom, allowing him the chance to spread his wings just a bit. It’s hard to let go, and start parenting a little differently. Isn’t that the point of this parenting thing, though, to raise these children until they are functioning human beings, and can leave our homes and thrive in this world? It’s a difficult inner conflict. On one end, I’m so proud of the young man that he is turning into, on the other, my momma heart wishes time would slow down just a little bit.
Then there’s the other one. We are still in the trenches with this kid. He is SO strong-willed. He has an opinion, an agenda, a purpose in every decision and move that he makes. We had a friend who early on named him our “GAME CHANGER”, and boy was he right!! He is hard work right now, but at the same time, I am treasuring every difficult moment, because I know how fast it goes. I know I’m going to look back on these years and it’s going to be worth it. That all of the tough moments, all of the trying moments, when I’m not sure how I’m doing as a mom moments, are going to be worth it. He is cute, and funny, and exhausting. We decided to homeschool him this year, for many reasons. I am very confident in our decision to homeschool him, but let’s just say it is not all rainbows and butterflies. I’m also realizing how many words he got out at school, because man, can this kid talk. ALL DAY. NON-STOP TALKING. This introvert momma is working hard to stay tuned into the talking, but seriously, he doesn’t stop, like ever. He is brilliant, though. I love to see his little mind working, his logic, his thought process is so beyond me. He is FLYING through his work, when he will actually sit down to do it, and I’m learning to enjoy those moments. We battle. He is in time out A LOT. He isn’t super confident in my ability to “teach” him, and even if I have those same thoughts I don’t dare let him know that!! I have a degree in teaching for goodness sake and taught other children in the classroom, but this kid is so beyond me!! Then there’s those sweet moments when I hear, “I love you mom. You are the best mom ever”, and I have to trust that I’m doing my very best, an imperfect best, but an I GAVE IT MY ALL best, an I’M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE YOU THE BEST HUMAN BEING best, an I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON YOU best, a YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN AWESOME PERSON ONE DAY best, an I KNOW YOU WERE CREATED TO BE SOMEONE SPECIAL BEST.
So as I go back to my Monday, I am thankful for our little home, our two precious kids, and am grateful for a moment to take it all in and not take it for granted. One day, I won’t find Lego men in the washer or nunchucks in the laundry basket anymore, this house will be quiet, and I am going to wish for the busy days of raising boys.