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Numb

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. A week of waiting. Yes, no, yes, no. Couldn’t be. Everything’s going to be fine. This isn’t something to worry about until we know for sure. Push it out of your mind. It’s not reality. Don’t worry about it until it’s reality.

Today we got the phone call that made it reality. My little sis has cancer. My sister has tongue cancer. The “c” word. This is just plain weird. I feel like I’m living in a dream right now. Seriously? I cried last week at the idea of it, the possibility of it, but today nothing. NOTHING. I FEEL NUMB.

Immediately canceled all of my plans for the day, and headed out to love on her. Hug her, hang out, cry. We spent the day together, ate nasty chinese food, made dumb tongue jokes with a silly voice – like how she might sound once they operate. How sick and wrong is that? But that’s what we did. We went from laughing and being silly, to suddenly being brought back to reality of what was going on. It was a weird day.

Here’s what I know. I love my sister. I love her so much. She has been MY ROCK these last few months as I have gone through some major deep issues, dealing with my junk from the past. I have been a wreck, and she has been my consistent encouragement through it all. Now it’s time to switch, my turn to help her, because that’s what sisters do. So Kel, let me know what you need. I am here for you. Whatever.

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13 thoughts

  1. LL,
    I’m so sorry to hear of this! Sisters are the best thing in the world and cancer is…well…the WORST!!! Trust me, I know what you are feeling and please DO NOT hesitate to call if you need ANYTHING. I am here for you.

  2. Hey lori-Lynn…I totally know how you feel. When I was 10, my dad was diagnosed with Melanoma (the worst kind of skin cancer) for the first time. I know the pain and the numbness…the reality of the “c” word is a hard one to swallow!!! I will be praying for you and your sister. BTW—my dad was diagnosed with cancer a couple times, but after several surgeries, he is out of remission and cancer-free!

  3. We will be praying for you and Kelly too. Don’t forget that God is in control…all the time ;*) He will be there right beside your family all the way through this…

    Blessings to you ;*)

  4. Ugh. I can’t believe this. Cancer sucks… We are all praying hard for Kelli and all of you!! Please let us know if there is anything we can do! I wish we were there to hug you all! Love you guys!

  5. Thank you everyone for your encouragement and prayers today. Appreciate you all, and feel so blessed to have wonderful family and friends supporting us all through this.

  6. LL,
    This will be a huge roller coaster for you….many hoops to jump thru, many fires to put out and many times feeling you’re all alone. And you may be,,, physically only…God is going to carry you and your family through this. Calling out to HIM isn’t even worth saying,,, because as I said,,, HE WILL BE CARRYING YOU. You will get angry at HIM, it’s okay, you will get angry at everyone, it’s okay…everyone you know and love may run from you because you’ll get so ugly, it’s okay…it may take years to heal from this… I can only pray this is okay too. My 3 parents all just died, Ken in May ’09, Barbie in June ’09 and my beloved stepmom Gloria in July ’09. (I know, ironic, Ken & Barbie) I pray God is merciful and gracious and Kelli doesn’t have to endure very much pain and her complete healing will be rapid! No matter what…..I pray

    here for you, whatever it may be…

    BTW: FRIENDS…. what she WILL need aside from love and prayer….
    PREPARED MEALS
    LAUNDRY DONE
    TAXI’ING CHILDREN
    BABYSITTING
    HOUSE CLEANED
    AND DON’T WAIT FOR HER TO ASK!!!!!!!!

    Ll
    951-235-2009

  7. Will be praying for you and your family. Cancer is daunting, but never forget that God is in control today, tomorrow, and forever. Sending a huge hug from my heart to yours.

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