Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. A week of waiting. Yes, no, yes, no. Couldn’t be. Everything’s going to be fine. This isn’t something to worry about until we know for sure. Push it out of your mind. It’s not reality. Don’t worry about it until it’s reality.
Today we got the phone call that made it reality. My little sis has cancer. My sister has tongue cancer. The “c” word. This is just plain weird. I feel like I’m living in a dream right now. Seriously? I cried last week at the idea of it, the possibility of it, but today nothing. NOTHING. I FEEL NUMB.
Immediately canceled all of my plans for the day, and headed out to love on her. Hug her, hang out, cry. We spent the day together, ate nasty chinese food, made dumb tongue jokes with a silly voice – like how she might sound once they operate. How sick and wrong is that? But that’s what we did. We went from laughing and being silly, to suddenly being brought back to reality of what was going on. It was a weird day.
Here’s what I know. I love my sister. I love her so much. She has been MY ROCK these last few months as I have gone through some major deep issues, dealing with my junk from the past. I have been a wreck, and she has been my consistent encouragement through it all. Now it’s time to switch, my turn to help her, because that’s what sisters do. So Kel, let me know what you need. I am here for you. Whatever.